what you do makes a difference!

I have always maintained that you can be the ripple in the water, you can do something to leave a mark in the world. I have also pondered the flip side of this: the negative results of what you do. For instance, in my last blog, I spoke of a situation of domestic abuse that I witnessed. In this case, there are two children involved. I wondered how often they see the violence, and realize that even hurtful words are just as traumatic as any fist! I envision them curled up under their quilts, shivering in fear. As they grow up, they realize that the world is a scary place full of scary people. After all, if your home can't be your sanctuary, what is? My own feelings that night were of fear and flashbacks. It is not unlike a soldier who comes home after a war shell-shocked. The sounds and shouts took me back to my own painful past. 

I spent the first 45 years of my life dodging pain. First growing up in an abusive home, as well as being taunted at school. No place was safe for me except in the books that I could read at the library. For me, that was my refuge. I could transport myself away to distant places and know that at the end there was always a happily ever after. As I grew up, I gained confidence only because a certain story character who had faced adversity also was strong. I had my heroes, that was for sure. Then I spent another 25 years in a sad marriage, and after that another two trying to find myself, with disastrous results. I thank God that alcohol never played a part in my life and wonder how much worse it would have become had it been an issue.

So you see, there was the ripple that was left in my life. As a child of the 70's, one never spoke of child abuse. It was kept quiet and because no one intervened, I had issues of insecurity and made bad choices. I married young to remove myself from that situation only to jump into a more prolonged episode of pain. Again, in the 80's, spousal abuse was also kept quiet. No one talked about the bruised eye, the nervous frantic desire to make everything right...or else. I tried to shield my own children from the words and wounds I was dealt, and am now just realizing what effect that had. There were still implications of the tensions in that house that they have felt and speak of even today. See? Ripples. 

As I wrote yesterday, be that voice for others when they cannot speak up and out. Step in and lend a shoulder to cry on. Be the tide of change. We may never know how far the effects go forward, but be assured, the changes, though subtle, will last a lifetime!