"what could I have done better?"
This should be the mantra of everyone..."what could I have done better?" Case in point. A gal I know was at the store buying some groceries when she noticed a gentleman in front of her use his debit card to pay for his purchases. It was declined, so he was unable to buy what he had: 2 gallons of milk and a few odds and ends. He pushed the cart off to the side and left. The woman then paid for her groceries and went home. The thought struck her: "oh my God, what if...he had children at home? It is the end of the month, maybe that was their food to last till his next paycheck?" So many things ran through her mind, culminating in guilt. "I could have afforded to say, "here, I'll get this for you, no problem." Instead she let that moment slip by. She asked me, "what could I have done better?" I was quiet for a moment then said, "sometimes we all are that man, sometimes we also are you...we see an issue and are so impassive to it, we allow it to slide right by without action." I told her to not berate herself too much, that another situation would soon come into play. That last one was a lesson, a hard earned lesson, to not be so complacent that we allow apathy to mar our lives.
Whew! Why do we need to learn about life the hard way? I have been writing lately about alcohol and drugs, how they can really mess up life. It is so easy to turn OUR heads from the issues, to just let those who have their addictions slither through life without positive reinforcements from us. Instead, we turn away, we judge, we condemn...and on it goes. What we also forget....is that these very folks for whom life slides by, they have children who feel the very real pain of those addictions. They grow up feeling unworthy, unloved...uncared for...and many do the exact same thing: they turn to the things they know will kill the pain, if only for awhile. Unfortunately, the pain is masked through the very evil they have witnessed and becomes even more of an issue and so the cycle continues.
I have read your blogs and thought, you always talk about drugs and alcohol. After reading this, it all makes sense to me now! we need to see there is a larger picture than "just me." as you said, what could I have done better?" I will definitely see it a different way now. Thanks.
ReplyDeletewe do what we are taught. If at an early age we are taught that the universe centers around us, of course we believe it and abide by it! That is why it is important for parents to teach their kids right from wrong, manners and all about respecting another. If you see someone in need, by all means, speak up! Same goes with someone in "pain." Don't hide it or condemn it, tell your children that it exists and how can we help? This way it builds EMPATHY within them to want to do for others.
ReplyDeletewow...powerful words! been there--done that---I felt so insecure offering money...figured, "oh well, sucks to be them!" I never thought about maybe they had kids, maybe this is all they have till the next payday. Thanks for the wake-up call!
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