| | Validation. Such a seemingly insignificant word. It means compliance in a social activity to fit in and be part of the majority. To a young girl growing up, it meant the difference between feeling secure and wondering every day of my life whether or not I even belonged in my family! My mother rarely said a kind word to me. There were no warm cookies and milk waiting for me after school each day. If ever anyone gave me a compliment, I savored it much like a hungry person offered a crust of bread. I was starved for those sweet words. Thus it was that when I had children of my own, I made certain to let them know they were/are loved and appreciated. It doesn't require a whole lot of effort, yet if one never grew up in a home that had it, how does one know how to love? Thus the vicious circle that carries on until someone decides to stop the cycle. For me, I had a grandmother who was every person's dream of what "grandma" should be. Thus, my example of validity. I carry her memory deep within me. To have a successful future, we must prepare our children NOW to be all they can be. Thoughtful words and actions will go very far to ensure that happy children become secure adults who show compassion and love towards others. YOU can be that first step needed: be a mentor for someone who needs an occasional kind word, a pat on the back for a job well done. Even if it's just baking cookies with the kids next door, offer opportunities to spend precious time with them, listening to them, letting them know that have Value and Worth! What are you waiting for? |
As a child growing up with a mom who used drugs all my life, I can't tell you how much I longed to hear "I love you." and I mean--when she wasn't drunk or strung out. I wanted for it to MEAN something, dammit!!! I had a purple dinosaur that I loved, and according to the show he was on, he loved me too...we were a happy family! Then as I grew I realized it was all bogus bullshit. What a thing to have to deal with, huh? Foster homes became my way of life due to mom being in jail/prison/ Foster homes are NOT healthy...you bounce from place to place, so no real sense of value or home there either. If not for the one special person to have come into my life at the young age of four, I wouldn't even be who I am today. I KNOW I would be in the same place as my mom was at this age I am at now. Instead, thanks to this ONE person...I am looking ahead at getting my degree to help other kids who were just like me. So...thanks...and to the rest of you---remember, that child you just blew off is the one who will take care of our world in 10 or 20 years. Do you really want the world run by drug addicts and drunks?
ReplyDeletethis could be why bullying is becoming more common. When kids don't have a positive role model at home, they will use whatever power they have to make others feel as bad as they do. When kids feel neglected, bad attention, to them, is better than no attention at all. Kids need to feel needed, just as we all do. Unfortunately in many homes, the parent/s work and no one is minding them, so they figure out ways to keep busy. This is where, as you mentioned in past blog posts, mentoring comes into play. Giving kids PURPOSE is what sets them apart from the rest. Sports, Scouting, even being responsible for a pet or younger sibling can all provide feelings of self worth. Thanks again for the nail on the head reminders!
ReplyDelete