how strong must one be?

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where
 you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
 born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have
 received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be
 content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into
 your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
 It is there for each and every one of us."
 

There are folks who go through life smooth sailing. They may not encounter any difficulties and really find it hard to sympathize with another who have. They are the ones for whom a single death tears them asunder, because they really haven't developed a coping mechanism to deal with tragedy.

There are those for whom when it rains, it pours. Death, poverty, loss of jobs, loss of those they love, abuse of any sort, illness, it can make or break them. Eventually they learn to rise up and deal with the blows of life, for what else could they do? To roll over and allow life's issue to swallow them up is just not an option.

I sometimes wonder though, for those who have seen just about everything life can throw at them, just how they manage to hang on. It never stops, these arrows that come hurtling through time and space. They fling them off, one by one, but eventually worn out and tired, they soon are ready to admit defeat.

For them, I say,"Don't!" I too have felt pain, sorrow, sadness and there are times when I want to cash in my own chips and go home. Life has hurled every weapon it could have at me and yet I think of others for whom life is so much worse. Every day for me is a gift...a precious opportunity to show others what love and optimism are all about. I just had knee surgery to match the knee that was operated on last year. Finally, I thought, to be able to have two functioning knees, to walk pain free, wow. Something so many take for granted, I measured each day by every step I took. I thought I was home free. Euphoric, ecstatic. Then I got a call yesterday afternoon from my doctor. "I didn't want to say anything before your surgery, but your PAP results came back. You are showing signs that your cervical cancer has come back." No, "I'm so sorry." Nothing of any comfort. Just cold, clinical words that said to make an appointment to have a biopsy. I was stunned. I felt like I was hit right in the ribs. I couldn't breathe. Once more my life took a sudden turn. Now, more doctor visits, more tests, more...of the Unknown await me. The Unknown scares me. Ever since I was very young, living as I did in an abusive home, I had no idea what each day would bring. Pain, neglect, tears...I learned to deal with it all by having as much as I could under my own control so that I had some sense of comfort. Even as an adult, it was what saw me through a sad first marriage. It was my only sense of solace in an otherwise scary world. Man others who have been in my situation will say the same thing. 

I look at the above quote and think. I am "meant to be right where I am." I look at the place I am and wonder how this will be used for the benefit of others. All I have to rely in is Faith. Actually that is all any one of us have. If I knew the outcome, it wouldn't be Faith, it would be knowledge. Faith jumps in with both feet and says, "here I am!" So despite the fear of the Unknown, I look at this situation now and say, "here I am! This cancer may try to beat me, but I will fight it yet again...just as I have before. (Due to the Lupus I have, it has lowered my immunity, setting me up for  a host of problems, cancer being one of the most prevalent.) This doesn't mean I'm not scared, because I am. But once more I have the love of friends and family surrounding me and I have Faith that I will make it through this yet again. The most important person in my life right now has promised that he, too, will weather this right along with me. I can't ask for abetter gift than that! So to all who are facing hurdles right now, who question if they are in the place they should be, I say, "yes, if only to learn  from it, to grow from it and to pass that inspiration to others. I pray for each and every one of you to spread happiness everywhere you go like seeds in the wind!