Oh Reverend, I am so despondent right now. This just made me cry even more. I am in a situation where I feel trapped. I love my husband so very much, yet he can't see what he is doing to himself. Or maybe he does, but he feels he can't change, not even for me. I have read Andy's comments about drinking and know this disease called alcoholism just grabs folks by the hair and won't let go. But it also has a hold on me and I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I am so afraid if I say to him, "well quit or go!" because he just may leave and I don't want to abandon him. I love him and see his weakness for what it is. I long for a hug right now,or just an ear to listen. "Faith so I can believe..." You are in the same spot also, I know. How do you deal with it? When do you know to just say, "I can't do it anymore?' Is there anyone out there who hears me, anyone at all? thanks for listening.
I hear you and have this to say: tell yourself, "I am doing the best that I can!" and believe it! Then take it one day at a time. Yes I am in your boat. Yes I know what you feel, this is why I wrote the book, "There but for the Grace of God (plus a few good friends & family) Go I." Because I feel compassion for the drinker, but also for everyone who looks in from the outside. I know pain. I know frustration. I know it all. I have been labeled an enabler. Yet I am not enabling, I am not making excuses but rather just dealing with the day in/day out life of one who knows there is a problem that despite all attempts, just can't seem to fix.Be kind to yourself...love yourself...and keep reminding yourself...I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN."
for anonymous: I hear you also. I know what the empty feeling is like, I lived it my whole life. You need to take care of you right now. The best thing you can do is to baby yourself. What gave you comfort as a kid? Was it a stuffed animal? A tootsie pop? Watching a movie? Then do it. Hug yourself and say "I love...me!" These things I have found useful when confronted by the nothingness that was my life for so long. Most of all, look in the mirror and say to yourself, "YOU can do this too!" Good luck!
this blog post says it all, not so much the sentiments, but the replies pf the ones reading it. If not for this blog, I wouldn't have my dad right now. I would have made some dumb decisions. If not fro the replies by folks like rob and others, I would have told the very best reason I am here to get out of my life. To Anonymous: when your feel your spirits sag, come here. Rev has some very thought provoking stuff to say. Most of it is experiences from her life. But isn't that how we all learn, through the eyes of others. To the Rev Baum,I say, "thank you, from the bottom of my heart." Me and dad...we really are grateful to you.
I stumbled across this--don't wanna say by accident because I think all things are meant to be. But the response from Bud, not buddy really made me think. So I read back a few blogs and thought to myself, "wow...it really hits home." So many thoughts shared, so many feelings expressed....and not one is a preachy "you're an asshole sinner and you'll burn forever in hell," in the bunch. Rev...the church(es) may say you aren't doing this the "right way," but what IS the "right way?' why, it is the way Jesus taught us: to not look for faults but to love one another as we want to be loved. Be that example. I have bookmarked this site...and I am returning! thanks!
may you know, Rev, that you are loved. Feel wrapped in the Love of life....stay strong in adversity. Good luck to you in the near future.
ReplyDeletehow does that saying go..."if wishes were horses, beggars would ride?"
ReplyDeleteOh Reverend, I am so despondent right now. This just made me cry even more. I am in a situation where I feel trapped. I love my husband so very much, yet he can't see what he is doing to himself. Or maybe he does, but he feels he can't change, not even for me. I have read Andy's comments about drinking and know this disease called alcoholism just grabs folks by the hair and won't let go. But it also has a hold on me and I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I am so afraid if I say to him, "well quit or go!" because he just may leave and I don't want to abandon him. I love him and see his weakness for what it is. I long for a hug right now,or just an ear to listen. "Faith so I can believe..." You are in the same spot also, I know. How do you deal with it? When do you know to just say, "I can't do it anymore?' Is there anyone out there who hears me, anyone at all? thanks for listening.
ReplyDeleteI hear you and have this to say: tell yourself, "I am doing the best that I can!" and believe it! Then take it one day at a time. Yes I am in your boat. Yes I know what you feel, this is why I wrote the book, "There but for the Grace of God (plus a few good friends & family) Go I." Because I feel compassion for the drinker, but also for everyone who looks in from the outside. I know pain. I know frustration. I know it all. I have been labeled an enabler. Yet I am not enabling, I am not making excuses but rather just dealing with the day in/day out life of one who knows there is a problem that despite all attempts, just can't seem to fix.Be kind to yourself...love yourself...and keep reminding yourself...I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN."
ReplyDeletefor anonymous: I hear you also. I know what the empty feeling is like, I lived it my whole life. You need to take care of you right now. The best thing you can do is to baby yourself. What gave you comfort as a kid? Was it a stuffed animal? A tootsie pop? Watching a movie? Then do it. Hug yourself and say "I love...me!" These things I have found useful when confronted by the nothingness that was my life for so long. Most of all, look in the mirror and say to yourself, "YOU can do this too!" Good luck!
ReplyDeletethis blog post says it all, not so much the sentiments, but the replies pf the ones reading it. If not for this blog, I wouldn't have my dad right now. I would have made some dumb decisions. If not fro the replies by folks like rob and others, I would have told the very best reason I am here to get out of my life. To Anonymous: when your feel your spirits sag, come here. Rev has some very thought provoking stuff to say. Most of it is experiences from her life. But isn't that how we all learn, through the eyes of others. To the Rev Baum,I say, "thank you, from the bottom of my heart." Me and dad...we really are grateful to you.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across this--don't wanna say by accident because I think all things are meant to be. But the response from Bud, not buddy really made me think. So I read back a few blogs and thought to myself, "wow...it really hits home." So many thoughts shared, so many feelings expressed....and not one is a preachy "you're an asshole sinner and you'll burn forever in hell," in the bunch. Rev...the church(es) may say you aren't doing this the "right way," but what IS the "right way?' why, it is the way Jesus taught us: to not look for faults but to love one another as we want to be loved. Be that example. I have bookmarked this site...and I am returning! thanks!
ReplyDeletethank you.
Delete