give us THIS day..........

Soon another birthday approaches for me and as it does, I reflect on my past years. Seems odd that when I was young I looked ahead to birthdays, now as the #50 approaches, I am less inclined to party and more inclined to be introspective. I have dealt with health issues for the past twelve years. I have had more than my share of pain. I have wished to God I could die to be done with it. Now as I wobble on a cane and/or a walker, I wonder what the following years will bring, even as I remember how I used to be able to run and jump and play. The average lifespan of a person with Lupus is age 50. I am just about there. It has not been all good, but then again, I look to what I HAVE accomplished and give thanks because if I were not around, I know the ripples I have made wouldn't be felt and for that I give thanks to God. I think of past saints who also have had their share of pain and how miracles came about during those darker moments in their lives. And so...I plod on.

There is no place in our lives or world, no matter how dark or dank, where God doesn't deign to encounter us, mostly unobtrusively, to bring light, life, and love. However, we must allow ourselves to encounter God precisely there: in the darkness of insecurity, inferiority, injustice, oppression, difficulty, pain, doubt, and, yes, even, despair. When we allow ourselves to "go" to those places in our lives and larger world, the darkness we find ourselves at times overwhelmed by is precisely where we will eventually encounter the Christ who came into the world that, "those who do not see might see." (John 9:41).