Radio
I watched a movie yesterday titled, "Radio." It is about a high school football coach from South Carolina who takes a young black man under his wing, caring for him after the young man's mother dies. He was born with a learning deficiency, but makes up for it with all the love he has in his heart. His fascination with radios is what inspired his nickname. His only desire is to please, which the coach has caught on to. He enlists Radio to help him with his team and in turn Radio becomes the school's greatest cheerleader. This movie, by the way, is based on a true story.
I was entranced by this because it goes hand in hand with the post I made yesterday, about validation, giving people a need and a reason for hope, having something to love as well as a need to live! Radio was a scared boy; not able to communicate well, he withdrew into his shell after being constantly harassed by people who didn't know how to communicate with him. Isn't that the way we all are? When we don't know what to do, what is our first reaction? We tune life out. Just as a baby does when it doesn't understand what is expected of it, it also tunes out the stress of dealing with the unknown.
There are those who don't have a clue about dealing with what, to them, isn't the norm. A bum on the street, a person dying from an illness, a relative in a nursing home, alcohol and drug abuse, things that make us uncomfortable also cause us to turn away. This creates isolation, the beginnings of which becomes a vicious circle.
I say, take yourself out of that comfort zone. Step in and become involved. A friend I know is watching his mother die from a long bout of cancer. Instead of placing her in a nursing home, he sits by her side, day after day, grateful for this opportunity to be her caregiver. I am sure that this quality time is providing this mother with much comfort, as opposed to being in a cold, sterile environment. What the coach did for Radio enabled him to continue to live on his own, even with his disability, thus proving to all that he was indeed, capable.
There was a poem that describes this perfectly. Titled, "Children Learn What They Live." You read it and allow it to sink into your soul. Then, go out and do what your heart propels you to do. You may be surprised at the results of what validation can do!
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law
Nolte
you made me cry and I thank you
ReplyDeleteYou write about the sweetest things! This movie is in my DVD library and when I want a good cry--or a good kick in the patootie, I watch it! What you said about validation is so true! I had a neighbor who was an alcoholic. I say "was" because as time went on, he lost his very forgiving and tolerant wife and was all alone. The other neighbors withdrew from him and he drank even more. Finally one day I didn't see him. I grew concerned because he was always out and about, even if it was sitting on the front porch with his bottle. I called police...turns out he died several days before, alcohol poisoning was the cause of death. and I did nothing to ease his pain beforehand! Oh how I wish, instead of gossiping about him behind his back,I had done something...anything! Like the coach in the movie said about a boy he just ignored in his youth, NOW is when we take action, not when it is too late! So thank you Reverend once more for that kick in the pants feeling I get when I read your columns! you are precious!
ReplyDelete@ leo...she makes me cry with these posts too! Gol darn it! But its a good cry, its a worthwhile cry, its a healing cry! Thank goodness my GF doesn't see me do it, she'd say I am a wuss! But hey Rev...its all good! thanks again! and BTW, I also saw "radio." why doesn't Hollywood make more of these films?
ReplyDeleteHey Reverend, we meet again, but in better circumstances! I hope that I didn't scare ya too much at the physical therapist's office, but I never thought I'd actually get to meet you in person!!! I just want for all who read these posts to know that if not for the Reverend, I'd be up shit creek with no paddle. I save all of her columns ina folder and reread them when I need an upper. I am an alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon once too many times. That was why I need phy. therapy, I was driving under the influence and got into an accident and hurt my back pretty good. Each day for me finds me reaching for a can, a bottle, somethign to ease the pain of being in pain. Yeah, it nums the senses but the pain is there when i sober up. Do you know, Ms. Baum that there aredays I want to just say, "to hell with life?" Then I read a blog from you and realize that I am not the only one. I am so tired of those who think they know it all. "Why don't you just quit?" or "why don't you go to AA?" or the best one, "you know, your life would be more pleasant if you stopped drinking!" Well, those comments sure make me want to puke. I have been to AA, I have been in rehab and detox and many other things. Hypnosis, tried it. Cold turkey? Did that, then reached for the Wild Turkey instead. So all I ask is forgiveness for being a human with faults. Show me a perfect human instead...just like you said about Radio. Instead of accusations, try validation instead!
ReplyDeleteAdam,
DeleteThe Rev. told me of your meeting at "The Office" and yes, she was slightly freeked from it at the time,but after this posting it all is clear! You are one of us, or "Them" (as others chose to call us). You keep up your battle, there is hope out there somewhere, we just need to muddle through the muck to reach it. Wouldn't life be more pleasant if you stopped drinking? Why in the hell did I start in the first place? Jesus H. Christ, they chose food, (thats OK?) or whatever, I dunno, But Adam, thanks for "freakin" my woman, for you are among the actual real people we are all. Don't let the "Perfect" people tell you any different. But, isnt there always a "But"? quit hurting yourself through bad decisions!
And I want to thank you for reading The Revs blogs and I am so proud of what she has done for the several many, Adam, keep up your strength, you are a good man! Next time you "Slip" (if you do) HERE IS TO YOU MY GOOD MAN!! BOTTOMS UP!!
hey rob...you have a great wife...lucky you!!! Thanks for your words...I look forward to more from both of you!!
DeleteMy dear Reverend Baum: you have a wonderful way with words. I am amazed at your gentle but powerful sermons. Your words unite all instead of tear down. You don't point fingers, telling us how one religion is better or worse than another. If Jesus, whom I know you worship, were here right now, He would give you a pat on the back for a job well done. You could teach a lesson to many other pastors and priests, many of who condemn their flocks to hell. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDelete