are you a fighter?
Many readers of this blog have asked me why I write about addictions. Have I been there? No. But I have been in enough relationships to understand the struggles of what addictions can do, I have read enough comments to have the capacity to feel compassion. Here is my blanket response to those of you who feel lost as well as those of you smug enough to think, "it can never happen to me." My friends, addictions happen to ALL of us, be it drugs, booze or relationships, we all have an addictive personality of some sort.
You say that no one could understand your despair. I have no doubt you feel completely alone in your battle. But I’m pretty sure a few readers have known similar pain. I, for one, recognized your plea to God: “Why did you create me if all I want to do is die?” I asked that same question (with a few fillers) for at least a couple of years. (Ok, maybe longer than that). I pounded my fists on my bedroom floor with such rage that I nearly fractured my bones, and I threw books like “What Happy People Know” and “Authentic Happiness” over the banister in a temper-tantrum of sorts.
I can tell you’re a fighter. For starters, you're still here, right, reading this blog. I think I’m spending too much time with you, because I want to tell you to tap the life force within you. It’s there. And call on your Creator. Cuss him out. Yell at him. Say whatever you want. But don’t stop talking. Because as long as you are saying something, you’re communicating, and that means you are in a relationship with him. He can’t give up on you.
You know those 12 steps I may have written about? Scrap them. Just do this: hang in there. Because this really will pass. Even if you never find the right cocktail or the right doctor or the right support group. It will get better. And you will be there to reach out to some "Andy" or "rob" along the way, maybe a relative or maybe a stranger, and you’ll convince him or her to stay, too, because you’re starting to have a little fun.
God bless you.
You say that no one could understand your despair. I have no doubt you feel completely alone in your battle. But I’m pretty sure a few readers have known similar pain. I, for one, recognized your plea to God: “Why did you create me if all I want to do is die?” I asked that same question (with a few fillers) for at least a couple of years. (Ok, maybe longer than that). I pounded my fists on my bedroom floor with such rage that I nearly fractured my bones, and I threw books like “What Happy People Know” and “Authentic Happiness” over the banister in a temper-tantrum of sorts.
That was a good sign. It meant I hadn’t given up. Like you. I was still in the game. Ticked off, but still playing.
I can tell you’re a fighter. For starters, you're still here, right, reading this blog. I think I’m spending too much time with you, because I want to tell you to tap the life force within you. It’s there. And call on your Creator. Cuss him out. Yell at him. Say whatever you want. But don’t stop talking. Because as long as you are saying something, you’re communicating, and that means you are in a relationship with him. He can’t give up on you.
You know those 12 steps I may have written about? Scrap them. Just do this: hang in there. Because this really will pass. Even if you never find the right cocktail or the right doctor or the right support group. It will get better. And you will be there to reach out to some "Andy" or "rob" along the way, maybe a relative or maybe a stranger, and you’ll convince him or her to stay, too, because you’re starting to have a little fun.
God bless you.
I was just meandering through the internet and came across your blog, this one for today. Looks like you do one everyday. Long story short, I was /am so depressed I can't see the point of living, then i read this. I am a drug addict and have been in rehab so many times they finally said I am a hopeless case. Why am I here? is a question I ask so much. Then I read this and realized, "I have worth." so thanks, rev. wish I could give you a hug. You have given me a reason to hang on one more day.
ReplyDelete“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” -- Mahatma Gandhi
ReplyDeleteStrength – I am grateful for the strength to do what is required of me. I feel like I have a lot on my shoulders right now, but then again, who doesn’t.…