a note from heaven
the following is from a Heavenletter dated Aug. 21, 2012: I would suggest that all who read it be open to its message, for it is a POWERFUL one that I hope sinks into your hearts.
God said:
Someone's lack of awareness has become an outrage, and unforgivable outrage. And each defends his position. He or she was put upon. The other was heartless. The other had no consideration. The other was the bad guy.
Be leery when you view your honor as being at stake. For the word honor, substitute the word ego.
At least in the old days, when a couple danced and the lady made a mis-step, the gentleman said, "Excuse me." In effect, he was saying: "Please pardon me for your mis-step." Society set dance up this way. Somehow this graciousness slipped through. This graciousness, graciousness at its utmost, slipped through. How beautiful! What does it cost to say: "Excuse me."
Everyone believes in forgiveness, yet stubbornness often keeps a stalwart sense of being the wronged party. What is so wonderful about being the wronged party? How does that vindicate you or anyone and your holding on to what has to be let go of?
Forgiveness is letting go of an event gone wrong. Forgiving is freedom. Letting go is freedom. Forgiving is removing a barrier. A gate crashed down, and now you get the gate out of the way. If no one else seems capable of removing the gate, then perhaps you are the one to move it aside.
If there is guilt in the precipitating incident, it is guilt of ignorance. One party had no idea of the hurt he was going to inflict. He could have, should have, but he didn't. And he, because of not quite believing in himself, cannot bring himself to admit that he is not altogether without responsibility, yet he may have been the actor, not so much the reactor. Because of not valuing himself enough, the one who introduced the separation feels bound to carry himself as the one being wounded. The reaction of the other did wound him, and he is not yet able to get past his own hurt.
God said:
Who
has not been in a situation when he and another appear to be opposing
forces? What started it is no longer the issue. Of course, each party
feels hurt, and each party feels justified for the hardness in his
heart. Someone did not do right. Each thinks it is the other who did not
do right. Each feels victimized. Each sees the other as a villain,
perhaps even an arch-villain.
Each party wants to be loved. Whatever the precipitating incident,
each party did not love and was not loved, at least, not enough. Each
party had his back up. To the parties involved, it becomes a question of
honor, integrity, virtue, rightness, justice. This is how it seems. Someone's lack of awareness has become an outrage, and unforgivable outrage. And each defends his position. He or she was put upon. The other was heartless. The other had no consideration. The other was the bad guy.
Be leery when you view your honor as being at stake. For the word honor, substitute the word ego.
At least in the old days, when a couple danced and the lady made a mis-step, the gentleman said, "Excuse me." In effect, he was saying: "Please pardon me for your mis-step." Society set dance up this way. Somehow this graciousness slipped through. This graciousness, graciousness at its utmost, slipped through. How beautiful! What does it cost to say: "Excuse me."
Now, let's get back to the two
offending/offended family members or friends, and, at the present,
neither can come forth and be the first to let go of the hurt. Somebody
has to let go of it. They have to be able to let go of the hardness of
heart. When? Both parties wish the boulder separating them, are like
schoolboys who maintain: "He started it."
That may be true. It may be so that the other boy did start it. It
may be so that he started it for no reason. Yet how long should the
fight continue? The better question to ask is: "Who is going to end the
mini-war? Everyone believes in forgiveness, yet stubbornness often keeps a stalwart sense of being the wronged party. What is so wonderful about being the wronged party? How does that vindicate you or anyone and your holding on to what has to be let go of?
Forgiveness is letting go of an event gone wrong. Forgiving is freedom. Letting go is freedom. Forgiving is removing a barrier. A gate crashed down, and now you get the gate out of the way. If no one else seems capable of removing the gate, then perhaps you are the one to move it aside.
If there is guilt in the precipitating incident, it is guilt of ignorance. One party had no idea of the hurt he was going to inflict. He could have, should have, but he didn't. And he, because of not quite believing in himself, cannot bring himself to admit that he is not altogether without responsibility, yet he may have been the actor, not so much the reactor. Because of not valuing himself enough, the one who introduced the separation feels bound to carry himself as the one being wounded. The reaction of the other did wound him, and he is not yet able to get past his own hurt.
I do not tell you to belie your
own feelings. I do tell you to start working on yourself on the more
subtle levels. Work on your own heart so that you can speak truthfully
and mend a wall.
"...let the one who is perfect cast the first stone!" oh and how many of us think that we are above condemnation? Probably a lot! Live a humble life,love all that YOU MEET AND FORGIVE MUCH! Be open to the pain of another. In this way you will be a much happier person!
ReplyDeleteare you aware of how many families are torn apart because of one misstep, one incident that may have been blown all out of proportion and now--no one is speaking to the other? Life is short. do not wait for "the other person" to make it right! Get off your asses and do it yourself. It doesn't matter WHO was "at fault!" Is your heart not big enough that you can absorb an "I am sorry" moment?? Then there will be no regrets later. I know. I speak from experience!
ReplyDeleteyou forgot something. You forgot to say, Revrend, that to forgive does NOT mean that it is ever OKAY to bring up the subject again. I am sorry means "we are done with this, so it is now done with!" I had someone for whom I forgave. and she said she was sorry too, then not 2 weeks later she is once more tossing her BS at me as if once more I am a perpetrator! So we are BACK TO SQUARE ONE. WHAT GIVES? DOUBLE JEOPARDY, IT WORKS IN COURTS, IT SHOULD APPLY TO LIFE AS WELL. ONCE FORGIVEN, it is finished!
ReplyDeletekind of goes hand in hand with yesterday's blog post. About holier than thou people and being so sanctimonious. Maybe people should just back off and live and let live. Just sayin'....
ReplyDeleteyou know, if someone is hurting you to the point of pain, why stay and continue to get hurt? It's like if you're in a lion cage. You know its gonna bite you, but you stay anyway why? Because maybe one day it WON'T bite you? Ha! Highly unlikely. Get away from people who hurt you, who make you life miserable. Even if it is your kid, your brother, a friend or even a parent. Just get away because maybe they aren't worth staying around for. You have YOU to think of. There comes a time when even forgiveness just doesn't work any more. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result when in reality, you still have the same shit to begin with. Rev...I read yesterday's column and comments. If you have issues...cut them loose! You are too good for others to hurt you. Quit allowing them to do so!
ReplyDelete