Dear Abby
I am printing the following "Dear Abby" letter here from yesterday in the hopes that those who see themselves in it will take a moment to ask themselves just where they think their life is going and how fun will the ride be once they get there. This is from Thursday Sept. 13th, 2012. No, I did not write this. I just cannot believe there are people out there who waste time...it is so precious!!! Pride certainly does go before a fall. When parents are involved, the pain can be so much worse.
DEAR ABBY: My father left my mother after 32 years of marriage. To say Mom was devastated would be putting it mildly. She tried to keep things cordial for the sake of her four kids, but Dad spurned her efforts.My three brothers and I are now married with children of our own. Only recently have I been able to express how ashamed I am of myself and my siblings for the despicable way we have treated our mother for the past 17 years.
Dad was always arrogant, but he became even worse when he came into money. In our lives, Dad became No. 1. The reason? You guessed it -- the money. We put our mother down every chance we got, and our spouses chimed right in. We visited her only once or twice a year and never repaid the money she lent us. She knew she wasn't wanted or respected. Dad is clueless to the fact that we hang around only because of what we can get (and have gotten) from him. This is still true of my brothers, but I no longer want any part of this charade.
Mom is gone now. No, she hasn't passed away. She quietly moved out of our lives and I don't know where she is. I don't blame her for leaving. The abuse she took from us shouldn't happen to a dog. When I look back, I remember a mother who held a full-time job, kept a marvelous home, was a great cook and had a wonderful laugh and sensitivity. She didn't smoke, drink or cheat on Dad. Was she perfect? Of course not; none of us is.
All she wanted after the divorce was to be loved by her kids and spend time with her grandkids. Now the grandkids are growing up without knowing this wonderful woman.
Mom, if you see this letter, I love you dearly. I hope you can someday forgive me for all the years of hateful remarks and unkind deeds. The pain you must have suffered is something I'll have to live with the rest of my life. You are a class act, and I'm going to live the rest of my life trying to emulate your values and quiet dignity. -- MISSING MY MOM IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
DEAR MISSING: If you're truly sorry, it's time to tell your mother personally and ask her forgiveness. Do whatever it takes to locate her, including hiring a private detective if necessary. It may be expensive, but use some of the money you got from Dear Old Dad.
DEAR ABBY: My father left my mother after 32 years of marriage. To say Mom was devastated would be putting it mildly. She tried to keep things cordial for the sake of her four kids, but Dad spurned her efforts.My three brothers and I are now married with children of our own. Only recently have I been able to express how ashamed I am of myself and my siblings for the despicable way we have treated our mother for the past 17 years.
Dad was always arrogant, but he became even worse when he came into money. In our lives, Dad became No. 1. The reason? You guessed it -- the money. We put our mother down every chance we got, and our spouses chimed right in. We visited her only once or twice a year and never repaid the money she lent us. She knew she wasn't wanted or respected. Dad is clueless to the fact that we hang around only because of what we can get (and have gotten) from him. This is still true of my brothers, but I no longer want any part of this charade.
Mom is gone now. No, she hasn't passed away. She quietly moved out of our lives and I don't know where she is. I don't blame her for leaving. The abuse she took from us shouldn't happen to a dog. When I look back, I remember a mother who held a full-time job, kept a marvelous home, was a great cook and had a wonderful laugh and sensitivity. She didn't smoke, drink or cheat on Dad. Was she perfect? Of course not; none of us is.
All she wanted after the divorce was to be loved by her kids and spend time with her grandkids. Now the grandkids are growing up without knowing this wonderful woman.
Mom, if you see this letter, I love you dearly. I hope you can someday forgive me for all the years of hateful remarks and unkind deeds. The pain you must have suffered is something I'll have to live with the rest of my life. You are a class act, and I'm going to live the rest of my life trying to emulate your values and quiet dignity. -- MISSING MY MOM IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZ.
DEAR MISSING: If you're truly sorry, it's time to tell your mother personally and ask her forgiveness. Do whatever it takes to locate her, including hiring a private detective if necessary. It may be expensive, but use some of the money you got from Dear Old Dad.
I know, Rev, that you are in the same situation. I only hope that "someday" it may right itself. and if not, just know that you did the best that you could. You had to save yourself. If the grownup kids won't act like ...well, grown-ups....too bad for them! I know of the abuse you suffered and tried to hide form them, I know of the many jobs you held down to provide for them, I saw you in church with them when their dad refused to go, I know of all of it. and I know how you tried to hide it, deny it, and now are not even acknowledged for it. To those reading this, moms are a special breed. They take so much crap from others and keep on going. But take note, just as in the story, one day they will finally tune YOU out just as you tuned them out. Now whose fault is that?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand where today's adult kids get off being so rude and disrespectful. We are a family--we look out for each other and yet...they have this whole entitlement thing going on. They hold parent's mistakes over their head like a dagger. The only way they will know the pain is when their own kids do it to them....by then mom or dad will be long gone and these kids will wonder why they were so mean to begin with. I also suggest that if it gets bad, just walk away. Life is too short to keep volleying their selfish crud. You have YOU to think about too..
ReplyDeleteUnless its abuse, adult kids should act their age, learn tolerance and forgiveness and just keep moving forward. To alienate their own mom is just horrible!
ReplyDelete