of Faith...and Hope!

I am sitting here on a crisp cool morning, cup of coffee on my desk and a CD of Handel's Messiah playing in the player. It isn't Christmas, but who says such magnificent musical beauty can only be played at Christmas? The feeling of listening to an orchestra is just astounding and reminds me of God's grandeur!
I need to hear God right now. Yesterday I went ot the doctor because of prolonged "female issues." Immediately upon examining me, she announced that she felt a lump. "Wait, is it an ovary? no...it's a lump." I asked her to show me how big it was, and she made a sign...about the size of a golf ball.
It doesn't belong there. She had been watching it for the past six months while I sat on pins and needles. Due to my double knee replacement surgery six months ago, I couldn't have an hysterectomy due to the risk of infection. Now I wonder...infection vs. cancer? I'd rather have dealt with antibiotics than the possible thought of more chemo. I closed my eyes and wanted, at that moment, my mother-in-law present. She gives the best hugs and knows of what I speak. She had her "female plumbing" removed many years ago and feels great for having done it.
This, my friends, is where Faith comes in. and Hope. I Hope...with Faith...that all will be well. That all I am dealing with is a benign tumor or even just a growth gone wild in my peri-menopausal state. I am scared...but giving it all up to God. A part of me screams how I am so damned tired of always dealing with health issues. Lord, isn't the lupus and rheumatoid arthritis enough? My Cross gets so much bigger and I wonder...how long can I carry this?
I think Jesus felt the same way...he fell three times. The third time, Simon of Cyrene came to help him...not initially because he wanted to, but because he was asked to. I am certain that when he looked back, he realized it was the RIGHT thing to do.
I need my Simon right now. I need many Simons right now. Thus the Messiah music, the comfort of knowing what I can just relax into. I have about 10 days before the biopsies and tests come back and an ultrasound yet to look forward to. Surgery will commence before Halloween. Thus about five or six more weeks of what -if? You can bet I will make the most of each day.
This is my lesson to all of you. Make the most of each day. Each moment. Reach out to another...even if you have conflict issues. Can it be resolved today? If you have tried and it didn't work, at least you have tried.
Give each other a hug and at day's end, a high five. You made it through another day. And never leave another in anger. That will only backfire on both of you. The regrets are just not worth it.
Let Love fill your hearts!