of little children and forgiving ourselves....

"If you forgive the failures of others, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." Matthew 6:14


I was chatting online yesterday with a gal who was feeling down because she had put her babies in daycare when they were six weeks old so that she could go back to work. Her children are grown now and doing fine, yet it bothered her that she gave up her "duty" as mom. I reassured her that she didn't do anything wrong, that her kids didn't turn into serial killers and that all is well. Yet there was that doubt--let's face it, it really made for a bad/sad day for her.
I thought of my life last night as I TRIED to fall asleep. My marriage and divorce. Did I handle that right? Did I wait too long? Not long enough? And what about my kids? I have tried to explain the issues to them, did they really understand or are there underlying doubts?
I think we need to realize that despite our best efforts, we have to forgive ourselves. We think we know the best answer and in hindsight, was it really the best? Maybe it was at that time. Hindsight always shows us a better side. Did we act in haste or was it thought out? Was anyone hurt or did it help in the long run?

Years ago, I had to work weekends at a vet clinic. My oldest was 11, the other three were nine, seven and five. The oldest made a little booklet that outlined his responsibilities as babysitter, a role he took quite seriously. Things he listed were, "kids MUST listen to ME!" and "No Nintendo until chores are done!" I still have that booklet safely tucked away and chuckle when I think about it. I think it made the kids stronger that they had to look after each other. Once, the nine year old was in tears when I got home. They were only alone for three hours on Saturday mornings, yet he carried on as if the world had just crashed in on him. I asked him what was wrong. He replied how he couldn't watch TV because he didn't straighten up his room, that his big brother said so! I said, "well, he is supposed to tell you that, he is in charge!" My nine year old asked when it would be HIS turn to take over!
I look back and smile. Yes...I think I did the best I could at that time. And even in other situations, I have to forgive myself.
We all need to remind ourselves that we are only human. Don't take life too seriously. As I said, ask yourself if anyone will be harmed by your decision. If not, grant yourself the peace to go ahead.

Listen to this story Jesus told to illustrate it:

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked Him, 'Lord, how often do I have to forgive a believer who wrongs me? Seven times?' Jesus answered him, 'I tell you, not just seven times, but seventy times seven.

That is why the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to do this, a servant who owed him millions of dollars was brought to him. Because he could not pay off the debt, the master ordered him, his wife, his children, and all that he had to be sold to pay off the account. Then the servant fell at his master's feet and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will repay everything!' The master felt sorry for his servant, freed him, and canceled his debt. But when that servant went away, he found a servant who owed him hundreds of dollars. He grabbed the servant he found and began to choke him. 'Pay what you owe!' he said. Then that other servant fell at his feet and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will repay you.' But he refused. Instead, he turned away and had that servant put into prison until he would repay what he owed. The other servants who worked with him saw what had happened and felt very sad. They told their master the whole story. Then his master sent for him and said to him, 'You evil servant! I canceled your entire debt, because you begged me. Shouldn't you have treated the other servant as mercifully as I treated you?' His master was so angry that he handed him over to the torturers until he would repay everything that he owed. That is what my Father in heaven will do to you if each of you does not sincerely forgive other believers'" (Matthew 18:21-35).

Why don't you take a moment to think of hurts that have been trapped in your heart. Releasing them will not only free you of their weight, but it will open you up to receive God's amazing insurance policy of forgiveness and healing. Let's pray a prayer of blessing for them, telling God we give them mercy just as He has given us so much mercy. Thank Him for all of the sins He has forgiven: His forgiveness is truly amazing!