living outside of ourselves

  “It is not what you do when you are at church that matters most, it is what you do when you are not at church.” How are you doing living out your faith outside the walls of your church building?


Do you ever feel tired? I don't mean the end of the day tired, or after doing heavy work tired, what I am referring to is the kind of tired where it seems like no matter what you do, there is some sort of strife?

Let me paraphrase. I know of someone who, despite all of her best intentions at doing what she feels is "the right thing," is experiencing stress to the point of having panic attacks, of feeling as if she is having a heart attack, of feeling literally depressed. Her life is filled with caring for others who just don't seem to appreciate her efforts. Her husband says that she is controlling. Really? Her method of controlling is to remind him that his drinking to excess is causing his high blood pressure, which it is. He is on medication for it. He also smokes. That, too is not doing him any favors.She has reminded him that his "hobbies" are costing them money in medications to reduce his high BP readings. Rather than agree, he says she is "controlling."

He likes to give their dogs chicken bones despite her warnings that the dogs will get sick on them. They will vomit because the bones may have caused irritation or have loose stools later, which she needs to clean up. Again, she is trying to reduce the amount of work needed to get through another day.
She also looks after family members, making certain that they stay safe, are on the right path in life and can look after themselves responsibly in the years ahead. Her efforts there are rewarded with how she "nags too much."

I ask you, what is the solution here?
Does she just "let go and let God?"

In her marriage, for her to "let go" means that the recriminations of drinking, smoking and high blood pressure will add up to a shortened life span for him, among other things. In her family, by allowing them to just go about the business of their day, doing what she knows may get them into trouble (we all know that teenagers are great at finding trouble)  the outcome will never be pleasant.

Yup...tired. Whew...I got tired from just writing about it! Why can't those involved see how their actions are not just affecting them, but those around them as well?

What would YOU do? Is it better to just toss our hands in the air and walk away?
What would Jesus advise?

We can't always step in another's shoes to see how our actions will affect someone else. Sometimes we do things out of habit, "it's just our way" we tell others when it is brought to our attention. "I can't help it," or some other reason pops out of our mouths. We get into our comfort zones and nothing seems to shake us out of it.

Jesus would calmly take us aside and remind us that in order to Love God, we need to love ourselves. Is it really self love that keeps us doing the same old thing, knowing it hurts someone else? It can be drinking...it can also be spending money when we know it hurts our budgets. It can be any number of things that we know causes stress in others.  Jesus would remind us that if we Love God and we love ourselves, then to love others, we must step into their shoes and realize that our actions that hurt them must stop. You wouldn't like it if someone did "that" to you, would you...so why would you do "that" to them? Whatever "that" is....see it from the viewpoint of another...and just...quit.

I urge one and all to review your life...look over the past few days, past few weeks and see....what or where has there been conflict? What same "discussions' have you and someone close to you been hashing through? Is it possible for you to put aside your own perceptions and see it through the eyes of the other party? Live out that situation and ask yourself, "would I appreciate it if that were done to me?" Pray for clarification, pray for the strength and the fortitude to turn that around. Become aware of how your actions involve someone else. Good or bad, what you do does affect others down the line. If you take out a bad day onto another, they will almost surely negate the day of yet another poor hapless soul. See? The domino effect. Reverse it by doing good and goodness will repay itself many times over.
Which would YOU choose?
May peace find you today...go spread that peace and joy with others!
Amen.