who has benefitted from your existence?

 

"Spirit" and "Joey," also known as Teddy Bear. Spirit and Bubbles, bottom photo are brother and sister, born in the same litter. Amazing how different they look!

Baby Murray, a child in my community who was shaken by his caregiver last week, has been on my mind lately, and I can identify with this, as I was a shaken baby myself when I was just three months old. The technology NOW is so much better than back 58 years ago, but the dire situation is still the same.

As I watched the full moon outside this morning at 5 am, I prayed, I cried for this baby, for circumstance. God was kind to me...but I thought, "what if?" you know? What if things were different, how much different MY life would be and in the whole "George Bailey" scheme of things, everyone else's life that I had touched would have been different as well. ("It's a Wonderful Life")

Do you ever think of that? If you weren't HERE, how much life would have been different for all you have contact with? I thought this morning, of vindictive people who have hurt me over the past years...if I wasn't there, who would they have picked on...or would they have even been selfish at all? The people who have benefitted from my existence God says we may never know until we meet him in heaven and just as with the Apostle Paul, we will be told, "well done, my good and faithful servant!" Paul knew his time was ending...and in many ways, so did my husband, Rob. He knew...he had a woodworking shop made in the garage and he created signs...so beautiful and such a talent he learned in just a few short weeks! As his health deteriorated, I knew his time there would come to an end. I asked him, "would you like me to put your tools up for sale?" Immediately I knew that was a STUPID thing to say, it just hammered home how little time he had left. Initially he nodded and said sadly, "yes." Then just as quick, jumped up and said, "uh...no...just wait on that, there is something I want to do yet!" and I dropped it.

When he passed, I was so broken up. Two days later, I went in the garage and seeing how pristine he kept it, every thing in its place, I broke down, the whole Sally Field "Steel Magnolias" funeral scene broke down. I cried. I screamed. I cursed life at that moment and the snot ran down my face. I looked for a Kleenex, damn it, he ALWAYS had a box out there! Seeing none, I swiped up a dirty rag he had laying across the workbench...and gasped. There was a sign, his last one. It said, "I LOVE YOU."

He almost died...who am I kidding, he was found "dead" 36 years ago on a bitter cold night after a horrific car wreck. He never should have been revived, he never should have returned to this life. He even said this to me many times, "why am I still here?" he saw his deceased grandma and beloved uncle. They both told him it wasn't his time. He said they looked so GOOD, why did he have to return. Quite simply, "it isn't your time yet, Robbie!"

I always told him it was so that WE could meet! He made a difference in my life and world!

Don't ever discredit what you are to someone else, even that stranger on the street. Do not ever think life here is wasted.

I am talking to YOU...

you are so precious in the eyes of God and each other!

I asked God again this morning as the full moon continued it's descent, "how much longer, my Lord, before I get to see my Robbie again?" Tears streamed down my face.

I could almost hear Him. "I gave you a puppy to care for...figure it out."

Actually, He gave me THREE puppies!

The lifespan of these puppies is about 12 years.

I nodded and said, "let it be done to me according to Your word."

"Bubbles," the boss of my brood of dogs I have here!