of grief...and forgiveness...

 Daily inspiration: Yesterday was the funeral of someone I knew. Initially I wasn't going to do anything about it, as this person was not the best person in my life and after Rob passed, it was made clear that there no longer was a place for me at their table.

The last four years have been a time of grieving for what was lost in so many ways.

On my way into the pet store, I passed the funeral home where the service was to take place. I heard that "Voice" in my head tell me, "you need to go in there."

I growled...Grrrr WHY? I couldn't see the point!

Two blocks went by and then, a hard turn to the right, then another turn to the right and left and I was back there. As I pulled into the lot, I whispered, "I don't know if I can do this..." and walked in. I was the only one there, it was still over an hour before the family was to arrive. I stood by the table where a photo and urn sat and as the many memories went through my head, I prayed, "Lord, all I wanted was to be RESPECTED, that was it, just to be seen!" and I asked for forgiveness...even though I had tried so very hard to make things right while this person was alive, it wasnt meant to be.

I walked out with a few tears for the years of potential that could have been...and wasn't.

I was able to view the live service on my computer while at work, the snowstorm we had basically shut down any hopes of incoming customers. Maybe that was a good thing...?

Only 18 people were in attendance, five of whom were not related to this person. And the pastor { that the family had selected } was having a hard time coming up with things to say.

The lesson in all of this is this: Live your life so that the preacher doesn't have to lie at your funeral.

Live your life so that when you die, the line of mourners goes a mile down the road.

Live your life so that people have so many nice things to say about you that aren't just platitudes to please a sparse audience.

Live your life so that when you finally stand before God, He smiles at you and exclaims, "well done, my good and faithful servant!"

I heard one person say through the video, (probably not realizing it was already being taped) how it gave them pause to think about how they wanted their own life to end...and not as an episode with a forced service with so few in attendance.

Friends, we ALL are going to come to the end of our race-there is no getting out of this one...are we living for ourselves without a care for others or...are we living for others without a care for ourselves?

Have a blessed day amen