every day is a holiday!

Ah, February...the month of love. Valentine's Day commercials have been inundating the airwaves for over a week now. Many have the same message: "if you love him (or her) you will buy them THIS!"
Well, I hate to tell you this, but STUFF isn't the same as Love!
Love is a wonderful emotion. You can love ice cream, pizza and your pet. But no love is stronger than one between two people who are ready to commit their lives together.
At first, the other can do no wrong. In some relationships, however, things begin to erode. You may leave a mess in the kitchen, while she likes it clean. She tells you that you cannot go to the bar to play pull tabs and you feel it is a form of control that you must fight against. Soon words are spoken...with no thought of the hurt they leave behind. Silence takes over...a quiet, reserved silence while thoughts scatter in negative directions. Instead of planning for a fun evening, you each go your own way....sure that the other won't miss you. Then...the regrets begin to take over your mind. "what EVER did I see in him (her)?"
At this point, Valentines' Day can take a flying leap!
Instead of living on the high of a new found love...focus on the day in/day out stuff. Sure, he will wake up, pass gas and grumble in the early morning hours. Yes, she will complain that you don't kiss her with passion like you used to. But the high of new love is not meant to last. It is SUPPOSED to settle into something more durable. This is why almost all of Hollywood marriages (and I shudder to even use that word regarding those relationships) never last. It is all show, no go. Before the ink is dry on the divorce papers, they are already having babies by another person.

Marriages can sometimes take place for all the wrong, yet noble reasons. Maybe the conception of a baby deemed that the couple grow up and accept responsibility by getting married.  Though the couple tries, it just wasn't meant to be. It may have "seemed" wonderful at the time, but as a new day dawns, you begin to realize you have made a mistake.

Love is NOT what you see on TV, it is NOT a holiday full of roses and chocolates, it is the day in, day out emotions that can sweep you away or make you feel less than worthwhile.
A marriage takes work. Just as a plant needs attention, so does a relationship. No matter how hard you try, you cannot see the future. But you can see today...do you like it? No? Then what can you do to change it? NOT change HIM or HER, but change why the relationship is not working out. You can only change you, your attitudes and thoughts. Are you in it to win it, or just as long as it "feels good?"

I love what the Bible says about love! It sums it up pretty well. I have used the verse in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as a part of my wedding vows. The promise it holds is so beautiful!




"Love is patient and kind;
Love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things". -- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


 I knew when I married a few years ago what I was getting into. Sometimes I wish we all could wait until we are older, so that we can appreciate that marriage is not all about being googly eyed and silly, but it IS about looking after the other person, willing to die for him or her if necessary. That is what true love is about. It's about dealing with unforeseen illnesses, hair loss and weight gain, losing someone or something dear to you and hanging on to what is left. It is about comfort during the storms of our life, knowing that the rainbow will shine once more...you just need to be patient and wait for it. It is about wanting what is best for the other.
It is NOT about one-upping the other; it is not about lying, covering up, sneaking around, doing what you know displeases the other. I sometimes think there are married couples who treat their friends better than their spouses. Never use the phrase "f**k you!" to each other! Wake up and go to sleep with a kiss-lettingthe other know they are the most valuable person in your world!
Live out the Golden Rule in your life...do to another what you would have done to you. Communicate your needs in a loving way. Be kind, be thoughtful....and don't wait for a holiday to bring your loved one a flower. Every day is  a holiday....that is what marriage is all about!