I have always been a worrier...ever since I can remember. My life was very uncertain and dysfunctional all due to an abusive mom and a dad who didn't exert his authority to make things right. Thus, I worried, "what have I done wrong NOW?" "Why can't I have lunch--again?" "Why doesn't mom love me?" The anxieties that I endured, from being bullied at school due to our very poor home life, to my parents belonging to an organized religion whose main credo was that "if you don't do it God's way, He will destroy you!" Wow! Tough baggage there! So not only was I a loser in my mom's eyes, their "church" also considered me to be a loser as well. I became a loner. All I really had at that point was my own confidence that somehow, God did NOT see me as a reject. Look at Peter, he rejected Jesus three times, I told myself, yet Jesus also told him three times how much Peter was loved! Even the sparrows were loved! Luke 12:6-8 said "are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows. I tell you, everyone who confesses Me before men, the Son of Man will also confess him before the angels of God."
I received this Heavenletter today in an e-mail. It spoke to me...maybe you will also see yourself in it:
Dear One who worries needlessly, let Me say what I have to say in this way:
You have no choice but to have confidence in your Self. I am your Very Self, so, it is for you to have confidence in Me. Unless you have confidence in Me, you have disbelief. You are practiced in disbelief. You were taught it, and you learned it. Let go of disbelief now. Stop asking yourself all the questions.
Pick up an image of yourself as the innocent you are. Pick up the baby of yourself and lavish love on her. No one, especially you, is to put yourself in disarray
It is to you I write, Godwriter, as an aside. Let Us have a heart to heart. You understand Heavenletters very well. You are doing My Will. Let go of perceived results – recognition, numbers, personality, hard work, etc. No matter how close you are to Heavenletters, Heavenletters are My responsibility. Forget about confidence in yourself. Have confidence in Me which is the same as to say confidence in your Self.
The existence of Heavenletters came from Me. I looked over the whole world, and I asked Myself: "Which One of My Children is to tend to these particular Words of Mine on Earth?"
I looked for a Relayer of My Words. I spotted you. I picked you out. You were handy, and you’re good at it.
My eyes fell on you. There was no doubt in My Mind. There was no doubt in My Heart.
This is the big difference between you, the personality, and Me, the Oversoul. You know how to doubt. I wouldn't know how to doubt if I tried.
In a nutshell, you are plopped in the middle of the relative world whereas I roam free in The Absolute. I am Infinity-Bound, meaning Infinity as the Vastness that I go for and that I AM. This is as true for you and everyone else.
My Children seem to set up road-blocks for themselves, however. Don’t ask any more: "How am I doing? Am I doing this right? What have I left undone?"
If you must comment, say: "How unbelievably fortunate am I to be here now in this place.” Glory, glory.
If you must ask a question, ask: “What's next for me to do?"
You are One Cinderella among Many on Earth who serve as they serve. You came out of the Ashes of Ignorance, and I poured you into a New Life. Never mind so much what you are doing or how you got here. Just keep your eyes on Me.
I found you. You are found. I confirmed you. You are confirmed. I am here. You are here with Me. I chose you, and you are chosen. You do as I ask. I threw the ball at you. You caught it. Now you have run with it ever since. Have fun with this adventure. That’s all you have to do.
You are not being tested. Even if you were being tested, you were accepted long ago. There is no way you can fail. I am at the Helm. Remind yourself that you don’t do much. You simply pick up My Words here and there. Your task is simply to pick up My Words. I am the Decider of which words you pluck. Allow yourself to be filled with this joy. This Joy I gave to you just as you are meant to have it. It is worth a King’s Ransom, and you who had no idea you were to follow Me like this are following Me just like this.
I ask you to be naught but a plodder who trails after Me, picking up the sticks I leave behind. This is your opportunity to play in Infinity!
Come with Me. I am the Comet. You are one of many who are the Tail of the Comet. After all, what choice do you or anyone have but to follow Me?
~ Heavenletter#5917 Infinity Bound
~ Heavenletter#5917 Infinity Bound