a note on Forgiveness




Happy New Year to all! This was taken from a Heavenletter I received yesterday. I think it is worth sharing:


Everyone is doing the best he or she can do at the moment. Everyone. Whatever it is that someone did, at the time, he or she was doing the best he could. It doesn't matter if he knew better, for, in that moment, he did the best he could. It may have been in a moment of weakness, yet, at that moment, that was the best he could muster.
You must remember this with your children as well. Five minutes from now, your child can do better, but at another moment, he was doing the best he could.
One who commits a crime is doing the best he can do at that moment. Whatever motivation he might have had or not had, that's all he could do. He may even have thought he made the choice, and, of course, ultimately he did, and, yet, that may have been all he could do at that moment.
What configuration of events brought him to this, he may think he knows. You may think you know, and, yet, in that particular frame of time, that was the best you could do and that was all you could do.
This is not to excuse choices that hurt others or yourself. This is so that you will understand that sometimes things, emotions, thoughts, foolishness, cruelty etc. get out of hand. You do not have to like an act that another performs, and yet you also have transgressed, in one degree or another, and you did that which you knew better than to do, and you paid for it. We could say that your infractions have been slight where someone else's were heavy, and, yet, just the same, from another perspective, you and another are the same.
You may regret, and another may not regret, yet, whatever deed was done, it was done, and from that point of view, you are equal.
You may have stepped on a line playing hopscotch, and another may have pushed someone to his death, purposefully or accidentally. Regardless, the deed was done, and the outcome was the outcome.
You may have cheated on an exam. The reason, whatever justification you may give, comes down to cowardice. You may think you were smart to cheat, and, yet, it is not very smart to follow cowardice. That you got an A on the test matters not. Nothing is hidden, beloveds, and there is somewhere within you that knows it was cowardly to cheat. What is cowardice but a lack of taking responsibility?
It is for you to take responsibility for what you do or do not do, yet you cannot attach responsibility to another.
In the world, error is measured to size, yet error is error.
Now is for you to deal with, not the past. Forgive yourself the past, and you will leap past it. Whatever harrowing act was yours, it is not yours now. When you can forgive, when you can let your past go, then you can let another's past go.
Forgive your child for flunking a science test, and forgive someone else's child for stealing, and forgive your child for lying, and forgive someone else's child for drunk driving. Forgiving is a very practical act. It is not noble. It has to be done, or there will be no end to it. From your vantage point, there is no evening things out on Earth, yet you do have to even out your heart.
The hardest one to forgive is yourself. Once you can do that, really do that, you can forgive anyone, and it is necessary for you to forgive everyone, those you know, and those you don't know. Forgive.

Comments

  1. forgive. Diane, I have read your blogs and keep forgiving. I have forgiven my alcoholic husband more times than I can count and I don't know how many more times I can--or should. Take this weekend. We were supposed to go to my sister's for dinner. he was so drunk all weekend that I couldn't go anywhere. Why should I go alone? Why should I keep making excuses? Why can't I just stand up and tell everyone, "hey, he is drunk so I can't do what I want?" why can't I look HIM in the eye and say, "hey, what about ME for a change?" when, Diane...and why? I have been asking myself this for quite awhile now. I do know if I did this to him, there'd be hell to pay, yet I have to put up with it...and why? You answer me that one! I am sick of it! I want my best friend back! Not someone who sleeps his life away, works and comes home to drink!

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  2. Wow! Guess who this is? Wow! (<--hint)
    Anyway,forgive? Although I'm sure many of the readers of the Rev's blogs have the image of me being some "Otis" type of individual who wonders about incoherant and sleeps his life away, believe me it or not, I am not! I deal with life and the shit it throws at me on a daily basis, then I read some of the storys on here and realize my life isn't so bad. Yet, I find myself with a beer in my hand while doing so.
    Cathy D., I can't say I know your frustration, or even your situation, but I can say there is a point in everyones lives when you have to step back , take a deep breath or two, and look inward. Are you so fed up with it all and feel YOUR life is so miserable and you just can't/won't take it no more, that doing so would harm yourself or others, mentally or emotionally or physically, then it may be time to quit the forgiving and draw "The Line." I know even the so called drunk has feelings and can and will responde positively if not forced into a choice. Explaine to him/her, what is about to happen if changes arent made. In a positive tone.
    But remember, he/she is not where they are at by the gift of choice, drawbacks probably will happen, but I think, myself, if it is love, you will prevail.
    You just have to forgive a bit more than others.
    Thank you for your patience.
    rob

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  3. I have to believe, rob, that your comment was made because someone has forgiven you. The one person who needs to forgive "you"--is you. But I know that you also have someone in your life who has shown you true love and tenderness. You have a wonderful gift in that! I am happy to see you sharing that here for all to see. What a wonderful example you are!

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