how strong must one be?




"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where
 you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
 born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have
 received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be
 content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into
 your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
 It is there for each and every one of us."

 
There are folks who go through life smooth sailing. They may not encounter any difficulties and really find it hard to sympathize with another who have. They are the ones for whom a single death tears them asunder, because they really haven't developed a coping mechanism to deal with tragedy.

There are those for whom when it rains, it pours. Death, poverty, loss of jobs, loss of those they love, abuse of any sort, illness, it can make or break them. Eventually they learn to rise up and deal with the blows of life, for what else could they do? To roll over and allow life's issue to swallow them up is just not an option.

I sometimes wonder though, for those who have seen just about everything life can throw at them, just how they manage to hang on. It never stops, these arrows that come hurtling through time and space. They fling them off, one by one, but eventually worn out and tired, they soon are ready to admit defeat.
For them, I say,"Don't!" I too have felt pain, sorrow, sadness and there are times when I want to cash in my own chips and go home. Life has hurled every weapon it could have at me and yet I think of others for whom life is so much worse. Every day for me is a gift...a precious opportunity to show others what love and optimism are all about. I just had knee surgery to match the knee that was operated on last year. Finally, I thought, to be able to have two functioning knees, to walk pain free, wow. Something so many take for granted, I measured each day by every step I took. I thought I was home free. Euphoric, ecstatic. Then I got a call yesterday afternoon from my doctor. "I didn't want to say anything before your surgery, but your PAP results came back. You are showing signs that your cervical cancer has come back." No, "I'm so sorry." Nothing of any comfort. Just cold, clinical words that said to make an appointment to have a biopsy. I was stunned. I felt like I was hit right in the ribs. I couldn't breathe. Once more my life took a sudden turn. Now, more doctor visits, more tests, more...of the Unknown await me. The Unknown scares me. Ever since I was very young, living as I did in an abusive home, I had no idea what each day would bring. Pain, neglect, tears...I learned to deal with it all by having as much as I could under my own control so that I had some sense of comfort. Even as an adult, it was what saw me through a sad first marriage. It was my only sense of solace in an otherwise scary world. Man others who have been in my situation will say the same thing. 
I look at the above quote and think. I am "meant to be right where I am." I look at the place I am and wonder how this will be used for the benefit of others. All I have to rely in is Faith. Actually that is all any one of us have. If I knew the outcome, it wouldn't be Faith, it would be knowledge. Faith jumps in with both feet and says, "here I am!" So despite the fear of the Unknown, I look at this situation now and say, "here I am! This cancer may try to beat me, but I will fight it yet again...just as I have before. (Due to the Lupus I have, it has lowered my immunity, setting me up for  a host of problems, cancer being one of the most prevalent.) This doesn't mean I'm not scared, because I am. But once more I have the love of friends and family surrounding me and I have Faith that I will make it through this yet again. The most important person in my life right now has promised that he, too, will weather this right along with me. I can't ask for abetter gift than that! So to all who are facing hurdles right now, who question if they are in the place they should be, I say, "yes, if only to learn  from it, to grow from it and to pass that inspiration to others. I pray for each and every one of you to spread happiness everywhere you go like seeds in the wind!

Comments

  1. I have learned that that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. If only to find another way! You have shown your strength throughout your life by dealing with it head-on. You can do it again! I believe this prayer is attributed to St Therese, the little flower. I will ask her to shower you with her love..may she send you roses to show that you are thought of and loved! Peace be yours!

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  2. the unknown scares you and yet you are married to an alcoholic. your life will never be stable as long as he is in your world. Maybe this is time to assess your priorities...? just a suggestion...

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  3. to anonymous: you must be a wussy to not have signed your name. The REv has a heavy load to bear. It's like a house. You have the load bearing boards. They do the majority of the work. Then there are the 2 X 4's which make up the bulk of the house. Finally comes the trim, the dinky boards. All serve a purpose. Rev serves a purpose for the ones in her life. Is it hard? yep. Does she regret it? Probably, but she does it to serve as inspiration that it can be done, to the rest of us "2 X 4" folks. So don't knock it. Be supportive. By the way, which one are YOU?

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  4. Hello, my name is rob and I'm an alcoholic. So there. I promised the Rev. Kory I would forgive all the "perfect people" out there a while back, and so it shall be.
    I got The Rev's back and deal with it the best way we can! Why does it matter if I chose to drink beer during it all?
    Maybe you should take a good look at your perfect world,anonymous,and come down into the real world and learn to deal with real life! I feel pity and sorrow for you!
    Thanks Andy!

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  5. interesting..how strong must one be? at what point do I finally speak up? My daughter had surgery this week on her weak heart. Her husband/kids all said they'd be happy to help..."you don't need to fly here, mom/gramma, we can do it!" So I sat back, waited and prayed. Now she is home, but to what but chaos! Her alcoholic husband is passed out most times, he sees this as a Holiday for him! The kids, all in their teens, have done nothing but made more work for her and she has been trying but is supposed to be on bedrest...yet she drags herself about to care for her own needs, like bathroom time. I got a call from the hospital, she was readmitted with irregular rhythm. Of course her kids are so "surprised," but why? they wonder. I am so mad I am spitting nails! I did go to her bedside...and am waiting now with my laptop here fr word as to if she needs more surgery. Her faithful husband is out with his buddies right now...I am prepared to take her back with me if I have to. I am with anonymous...if her husband is like my daughter's husband...I feel so sad for her. They can make a promise but how quickly is it remembered after the fact? Let's face it--life sucks. But it's what you make of life that matters! (And rob--you wife needs to, she needs you to be strong and whole...how can you be if your own crutch is alcohol? To Andy, your comment is like building a house with weathered wood, sooner or later it will crumble!)) My daughter always tries to make it good for all involved. I like this blog because it speaks to me...I have followed it for many weeks now. Thanks for listening.

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  6. Hello again. My name is rob and I am still an alchoholic. No shame, just a fact. I read your story, Karel, and it made me think! Imagine that, an alchohlic thinking!
    I truly do feel for you and the situation you are in. Honestly! But please dont put us all in one boat and let it sink! Your daughter sounds as if she may be like The rev. herself, one tough lady! Whom I love with all my heart! But I am not out with my buddies, it is 1 in the morning and I awoke to check on the love of my life and cant go back to sleep, so I am on here.
    Karel, the rev started this blog with the intent of marrying people, and it has turned into so much more for her! Kind of a pass-time for me even! I do understand the feelings you have for your daughter(I have a couple myself) butI do hold a full time job, I LOVE my wife and do try to take care of her the best I can, I clean the oven and do dishes, yadda yadda yadda, please don't categorize someone who drinks. If you knew who aonymouse was in real life, you would understand what evil really was! Just sayin'
    And thank you for following The Rev's Blog. She is recovering quite well, by the way. Despite the 16 beers I've drank this past week!!

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  7. OK, Make that 24 beers. stress hits us all, we just deal with it differntly.

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  8. little girl lost and foundFebruary 20, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    each of us has a battle we must go through...I believe we don't walk this journey alone. To have another either trip us or carry us is what makes us stronger or weaker. There are those destined to see us fail....please hang on tight...to everyone I say...please encourage--not DIScourage!

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