social media: who needs it? (YUK!)
Social media. As I said once before, it's a bane or a boon, depending on which side of the fence you sit on. Let me tell you, when you are on the wrong side of the fence. It hurts. A lot.
In the Sunday St Paul Pioneer Press, there was an article about how Facebook is tearing apart relationships. Parents who have been cut out of their children's (and grand children's) lives, now witness those precious years via Facebook through a friend or acquaintance. They see pictures of "what should have been" and grieve. As one mom put it: "those are my grand kids, I should be in those pictures, sharing life with them." "Ex" relationships also continue to play out in a passive/agressive way, again through pictures of shared friends. Although it may have been "the end," through Facebook or Twitter, it just continues on, and the left-out ones continue to log in, continue to get hurt, continue to feel bitterness, and the wound never heals. How many of you have followed your ex through Facebook? Either because of jealousy or revenge, it never ends in a pretty way.
Today, I am challenging you to BLOCK that person from your activity list. Yes...BLOCK HIM OR HER! Go to the settings on Facebook, choose "privacy," click on it, then you can type in who you do NOT want to see you and who you won't always be tempted to see either. That way, even if you have shared friends, you will never see what that person is up to, even on another's activity page. No responses to posts, no pictures, nothing. I know its hard, but believe me, the STRESS of not witnessing what is going on will more than make up for it. But the decision is yours, you must do the blocking, if they haven't already done it first.
Live by the good example you can set for others.. Live out the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But if that person insists upon disrupting your life so painfully, then let go...with love. Send them light and move on. It is so much better than feeding negative energy into your mind.
In the Sunday St Paul Pioneer Press, there was an article about how Facebook is tearing apart relationships. Parents who have been cut out of their children's (and grand children's) lives, now witness those precious years via Facebook through a friend or acquaintance. They see pictures of "what should have been" and grieve. As one mom put it: "those are my grand kids, I should be in those pictures, sharing life with them." "Ex" relationships also continue to play out in a passive/agressive way, again through pictures of shared friends. Although it may have been "the end," through Facebook or Twitter, it just continues on, and the left-out ones continue to log in, continue to get hurt, continue to feel bitterness, and the wound never heals. How many of you have followed your ex through Facebook? Either because of jealousy or revenge, it never ends in a pretty way.
Today, I am challenging you to BLOCK that person from your activity list. Yes...BLOCK HIM OR HER! Go to the settings on Facebook, choose "privacy," click on it, then you can type in who you do NOT want to see you and who you won't always be tempted to see either. That way, even if you have shared friends, you will never see what that person is up to, even on another's activity page. No responses to posts, no pictures, nothing. I know its hard, but believe me, the STRESS of not witnessing what is going on will more than make up for it. But the decision is yours, you must do the blocking, if they haven't already done it first.
I always advocate forgiveness, of holding out the olive branch and moving forward in life. But, if after all of your attempts, the pain lingers and persists, the only other wise thing to do is to let go.
We live in a selfish world, where it seems each person has a "right" to lord themselves over another, to make demands on them that can't be met for practical reasons and when those "demands" can't be met, they insist on cutting you out from their life, sometimes going so far as pulling a restraining order or claiming you are stalking them! For shame! I say, let it be...and let them go. Grieve, then move forward. Because they think they are right and you are wrong and no amount of pleading will change that opinion. Someday perhaps, life will make them see what they have missed out on....unfortunately for some, it may be too late. And when it's our grown up children, we hold onto the memories of their younger years, not believing that despite all of our hard work, they can now do this to us. and it hurts.
wow...you always say what others won't. And you're right, so many use Facebook as a weapon against people. Twitter not so much. Confession time. I did exactly what you said, I was following my ex, taking delight in the pain I felt each time I saw what he was up to, I know he is an asshole but I delighted in the fact that he IS one, though I didn't see it when we were together. But you know what? Its BECAUSE the realization has hit now---I want to hurt him. I want him to feel the pain of all that he did to me! But I can't...so its like a balm for me to see that he is a loser on a daily basis. Its like I am reassuring myself that our break up was in fact a good thing and I didn't perish as I thought I would without him. But you're right also...I gotta block him because this delight is killing me. Thanks for the heads up.
ReplyDeleteeverything has a good and bad side, but I can see in the pea sized minds we have how tempting it is to spy on the ex...but it can go too far. There have been many reports of stalking...as you said, just cut loose, let go...and move on! This is why I only have Facebook for my closest friends, I limit who sees my posts and I only check up on it maybe once a week. (and this is why my current guy is not on my Facebook page!)
ReplyDeleteas with anything, there should be limits of what we have and use. Too much is as bad as not enough. As for ex relationships...if you couldn't stand to be around them in life, why pursue it on the Net? get a life, people...you're all getting PSYCHO!!!
ReplyDelete