a leap...of faith........
Many of you are probably aware of the "I Love Lucy" episode, where she does a commercial for Vitameatavegamin...and gets drunk doing retakes of the same commercial. It was funny then, and is still probably THE most loved comedy sketch since Abbot and Costello did "Who's on first?"
Real life though, is not so funny. When someone sits on the sidelines watching a loved one go from sober to wasted in less than 20 minutes, it is a scary, lonely place, as the next letter can attest:
"If only I could get into the mind of an alcoholic. To see and feel what goes on there, to understand the urge that controls him. Does he know that it hurts me to watch him drink? That I go into another room when he tips that bottle back, and I cry my heart out. Is he aware that it hurts me to watch him stumble about, that when he passes out for the rest of the day as I sit here, wondering what to do next? And when he crashes into something and falls, that I try, but am not strong enough to pick him up and get him back to bed--or to the bathroom so he doesn't pee on himself--does he know this? Or when he talks mean to me and can't remember the next day what he said--or did?
Does he understand what he is doing to himself? His body can only tolerate so much alcohol over a period of time before his liver and kidneys finally scream, "enough!" and...quit. Does he know also how much I HATE playing babysitter and have to hide keys so he doesn't get the urge to drive? What pain is he going through that he has to cover it with alcohol? Is it physical? Emotional? Why am I always number two...with alcohol leading his life? and most of all...why was I told never to ask him to choose...because I would lose....doesn't he realize that he has the best thing in his life and drinking is NOT it? Why wouldn't he choose me instead? Why can't he put the bottle away once and for all and say, "you're right and I was wrong and I want to live with you forever?"
Let’s Pray:
"Lord, sometimes I’m just flat out afraid. Afraid I’ll fail. Afraid I’ll be rejected. Afraid I won’t be good enough. Lord, forgive me for all those “I’s.” Forgive me for focusing on my weaknesses rather than Your strength. Today, I’m believing that I can do all things that You call me to do because I know that You will give me the strength I need.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen."
Today's story:
Several years ago during a trip to Kauai, my husband and our friends decided to go on a zip line through the jungle. After being jostled and tossed like ragdolls in the back of a retired army jeep, we finally made it to the top of the mountain from which we were going to zip down—risking life and limb, I might add.
Jacob was with us that day. He was a stranger among our little band of adventurers. Jacob was alone.
“Jacob, what brings you up to this mountain today?” I asked.
“I’m afraid of heights,” he answered.
I then noticed the thin line of perspiration beading over his upper lip. The slight tremble in his voice.
“You’re afraid of heights? Then why are you here?”
“I’m going to conquer it today,” he determinedly answered.
I was struck. We were here to have fun. He was here for a totally different reason. When Jacob stood on that platform, I prayed for him.
I’m not saying that God told Jacob to go to the top of a mountain, attach his body to a flimsy cable, and fly over the gorge at the risk of life and limb. But I am saying that obedience often requires a leap of faith. Too often we say yes to God, but live the "no" because of fear. We stand at the precipice of belief and a decision has to be made. Am I going to trust God or not? Am I going to attach my heart to the cable of His love and take a leap of faith, or am I going to freeze in fear because I don’t trust that He has my best interest in mind? Am I going to settle for safety and miss the thrill of seeing God work through me?
As we live and move and have our being in Jesus, God will take us to some amazing places. And there will always be a choice. Will we jump headlong into the adventurous journey of His perfect plan, or will we hang back for lack of faith? Jacob stood on the platform, took a deep breath, and jumped. He flew over the treetops, careened over the river, and landed safely on the other side of his greatest fear.
We clapped and cheered. Jacob took a bow. God smiled.
Real life though, is not so funny. When someone sits on the sidelines watching a loved one go from sober to wasted in less than 20 minutes, it is a scary, lonely place, as the next letter can attest:
"If only I could get into the mind of an alcoholic. To see and feel what goes on there, to understand the urge that controls him. Does he know that it hurts me to watch him drink? That I go into another room when he tips that bottle back, and I cry my heart out. Is he aware that it hurts me to watch him stumble about, that when he passes out for the rest of the day as I sit here, wondering what to do next? And when he crashes into something and falls, that I try, but am not strong enough to pick him up and get him back to bed--or to the bathroom so he doesn't pee on himself--does he know this? Or when he talks mean to me and can't remember the next day what he said--or did?
Does he understand what he is doing to himself? His body can only tolerate so much alcohol over a period of time before his liver and kidneys finally scream, "enough!" and...quit. Does he know also how much I HATE playing babysitter and have to hide keys so he doesn't get the urge to drive? What pain is he going through that he has to cover it with alcohol? Is it physical? Emotional? Why am I always number two...with alcohol leading his life? and most of all...why was I told never to ask him to choose...because I would lose....doesn't he realize that he has the best thing in his life and drinking is NOT it? Why wouldn't he choose me instead? Why can't he put the bottle away once and for all and say, "you're right and I was wrong and I want to live with you forever?"
It's like watching him have an affair and I have no control over when he will finally stop. How much can I take? How much should I have to deal with?
When does it end?"
"Lord, sometimes I’m just flat out afraid. Afraid I’ll fail. Afraid I’ll be rejected. Afraid I won’t be good enough. Lord, forgive me for all those “I’s.” Forgive me for focusing on my weaknesses rather than Your strength. Today, I’m believing that I can do all things that You call me to do because I know that You will give me the strength I need.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen."
Today's story:
Several years ago during a trip to Kauai, my husband and our friends decided to go on a zip line through the jungle. After being jostled and tossed like ragdolls in the back of a retired army jeep, we finally made it to the top of the mountain from which we were going to zip down—risking life and limb, I might add.
Jacob was with us that day. He was a stranger among our little band of adventurers. Jacob was alone.
“Jacob, what brings you up to this mountain today?” I asked.
“I’m afraid of heights,” he answered.
I then noticed the thin line of perspiration beading over his upper lip. The slight tremble in his voice.
“You’re afraid of heights? Then why are you here?”
“I’m going to conquer it today,” he determinedly answered.
I was struck. We were here to have fun. He was here for a totally different reason. When Jacob stood on that platform, I prayed for him.
I’m not saying that God told Jacob to go to the top of a mountain, attach his body to a flimsy cable, and fly over the gorge at the risk of life and limb. But I am saying that obedience often requires a leap of faith. Too often we say yes to God, but live the "no" because of fear. We stand at the precipice of belief and a decision has to be made. Am I going to trust God or not? Am I going to attach my heart to the cable of His love and take a leap of faith, or am I going to freeze in fear because I don’t trust that He has my best interest in mind? Am I going to settle for safety and miss the thrill of seeing God work through me?
As we live and move and have our being in Jesus, God will take us to some amazing places. And there will always be a choice. Will we jump headlong into the adventurous journey of His perfect plan, or will we hang back for lack of faith? Jacob stood on the platform, took a deep breath, and jumped. He flew over the treetops, careened over the river, and landed safely on the other side of his greatest fear.
We clapped and cheered. Jacob took a bow. God smiled.
In Him we live and move and have our being…and sometimes we soar.
and so...there it is, my friend, the love of my life. All it takes is to face the unknown....and soar. Can you do that--not for me, but... for--YOURSELF???
No one can know what goes o in the mind of an alcoholic but himself or herself. That being said, their need takes over all else...eating, relationships, all of it. Al-Anon is a great place for those who feel wounded from watching another drink. I highly suggest it for hurting folks. Never judge someone who drinks. As was pointed out, we just do not know what they are dealing with, however that doesn't excuse the fact that we are all responsible for our actions. Taking hat first step is the biggest. Good luck to all who are reading this and can identify with it.
ReplyDeleteOMG this describes me perfectly. and I didn't know...
ReplyDelete