why turn your back on domestic abuse?

 

Domestic abuse. Many realize that it exists. In fact, you may know of someone who deals with it. You probably feel helpless, because how do you say, "get out of that relationship?" You may support that person, you may hurt for that person...but in the end, the sun may go down and nothing has changed. And on it goes.
I was at a book signing yesterday, promoting one of my books, "50 to Life." It's a story of domestic abuse, as told by one who lived it. A woman came over to my table, pointed to the book and said with disdain to her friend who was with her," I have no sympathy for anyone in that situation. They have what's coming to them." I replied that the book has a positive ending, unlike many stories of abuse. She again said, "I have no sympathies for anyone like that," and continued on.



I felt hurt, not so much that she had no interest in the book. That does not bother me. What did and still does get to me is that she showed no empathy. To generalize a situation without taking into consideration exactly what many in an abusive situation deals with is so sad. Yes, I will admit there are some who don't leave, maybe for economic reasons, maybe because of fear of the unknown, fear of being stalked or killed...the list is endless. There are also those who DO leave and are killed anyway. There are also those who leave and find new life out there. They realize why they allowed themselves to be hurt and change that. They move on.

Those are the few.
The lucky ones.

For anyone reading this who may also have that negative attitude that whoever is abused has it coming to them, I implore you to rethink this. At least have compassion. We cannot know what goes on behind closed doors. Are you there every second of every day? Do you read the minds of the abused, can you see that they maybe "enjoy" the situation they are in? Or can you see the struggles, hear the cries, feel the tears?

Today, walk the walk of someone who cares. Even if they "say" they are OK....even if it "seems" that they may not want to escape, be a friend anyway. See what you can do to help. Maybe it's just a shoulder to cry on, be that shoulder. You never know, you may be the inspiration that helps them to finally realize, "I don't need to live this life of pain and hell any longer! I am getting OUT! For Good!"

Amen!