don't blink
I went to a visitation today for an 18 year old Marine who died while still stateside. As I approached the church, I was greeted by the Patriot Riders, each one holding the American flag as they stood in the hot sun without complaint as a personal sacrifice of their own. Upon entering the church, I noticed more Marines milling about reverently, with one standing guard at the casket. After some time had passed, another stepped forward to take his place, giving a salute to the departing Marine.
There were many friends and relatives mourning the loss of this man who I had known since he was only five years old. His father wept when he was approached and my heart crumbled for the pain that he felt, pain that I could do nothing about. I kept my composure until I made my way back to my vehicle, then I bowed my head and cried. I cried for the loss of my son's best friend since kindergarten. I cried for the loss of one so young. I cried for the loss of a Marine who was preparing to die for our country if he had to. I cried for other things too, including the loss of my own son, who, by his own choice, has stopped communicating with me. I cried for my grandson whose growing up years is flying by and I can only stand by and watch through pictures posted on Facebook of his little adventures. I cried also for my husband's daughters who have cast him out of THEIR lives due to their own jealousy that he finally found happiness and is sharing it with others than just themselves, thus he also is missing out on his own grandkids' adventures. I cried also because, in the whole selfish scheme of things, that it is our hearts that are broken, while I don't think they really know or care about anyone but themselves. And they probably believe in their own heart of hearts that they are the victims, not us.
And I cried because Life is passing us all by and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it, except to try and be a model of virtue for others to follow.
There were many friends and relatives mourning the loss of this man who I had known since he was only five years old. His father wept when he was approached and my heart crumbled for the pain that he felt, pain that I could do nothing about. I kept my composure until I made my way back to my vehicle, then I bowed my head and cried. I cried for the loss of my son's best friend since kindergarten. I cried for the loss of one so young. I cried for the loss of a Marine who was preparing to die for our country if he had to. I cried for other things too, including the loss of my own son, who, by his own choice, has stopped communicating with me. I cried for my grandson whose growing up years is flying by and I can only stand by and watch through pictures posted on Facebook of his little adventures. I cried also for my husband's daughters who have cast him out of THEIR lives due to their own jealousy that he finally found happiness and is sharing it with others than just themselves, thus he also is missing out on his own grandkids' adventures. I cried also because, in the whole selfish scheme of things, that it is our hearts that are broken, while I don't think they really know or care about anyone but themselves. And they probably believe in their own heart of hearts that they are the victims, not us.
And I cried because Life is passing us all by and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it, except to try and be a model of virtue for others to follow.
And it was then that I told myself: "don't blink."
semper fidelis, Cola.
Good grief, Rev...you got me to crying also. You're so right, never take anything for granted...time is so short. Amen and for those "kids" of yours....as adult, shame on them, they ought to know better! Grade school stuff ended in grade school!
ReplyDeleteDon't blink is right, because it is then that you may miss something. I pray that all of your children and his will be able to see what they are missing out on. Too often petty disagreements steal YEARS from our lives and for what? As your column shows, no one is immune because sometimes even the good die young.
ReplyDeleteI lost my mom after along fight with cancer. Even when you are sitting at her bedside, wishing death would come because of the pain of dragging it out, once it happens, there is no turning back, no words you can say again and no action that can be reversed. It is finished.Say and do what you have to now...life is too short to be a fool.
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